Love the Lord Your God

I’ve never really known what real love is. I discovered my lack of understanding recently, while having marital troubles, which I’ve written a little bit about Here(Love Suffers: It Must!). I’m learning, but all I have right now is a great theory of how to surrender which, as of yet, is really untested. But I have discovered one thing that must stop: Conditional Love. I have only loved God (and my wife) under certain conditions. I love God when things are going good but when life takes a turn for the worst, I stop loving and start blaming. I blame Him for anything that is happening in my life that I don’t want or like. This is just not cool and it’s not OK.

I have to learn to love God even when life isn’t going the way that I would like it to be. I need to let God do (or not do) whatever He wants and choose to love Him anyway. Even if I don’t feel like He is acting very loving, I must love Him regardless. I must learn to love my wife the same way. Rina doesn’t always act loving but I can’t blame her. I must love her as an act of the will – through the choices that I make. My love cannot be conditional.

So, I’m saying to God (and to my wife): Do whatever you want, I’m going to love you regardless, because that’s the way you love me. This is the covenant and it must go both ways. The last verse that the prophet Habbakkuk wrote rings true for me:

Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation.